The idea of boundaries is often misunderstood in a loving relationship. You cannot live on your loved one day in and day out. Space is important for healthy loving relationship. In this post, I will show you why.
In relationships, we often think that setting boundaries with our loved ones is a bad thing or just useless. But in my experience, I have seen that if I wanted to create a happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship, one of the most essential element was to set boundaries. It is also one of the components that allows you to live in alignment with the love within you.
If you want to live a fulfilling life, you must seek to become a master at setting limits, and not to become a slave of it. In other words, my limits end where the limits of my loved ones begin.
By slave, I mean things like, fixing times to make love, to eat, to go out together. There is no surprise for one another by being a slave of boundaries. I will show you see later what I call limits.
I AM A DIVINE BEING. I AM ABUNDANT. I AM ETERNEL.
I FEEL WITHIN ME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR ALL THAT IS !
When the limit is clearly defined and respected, we do not need walls or electric fences. The border can be crossed at times when there is a mutual understanding. However, when the border is breached in order to harm or take bad advantage, then you better change your loving partner, or leave the relationship, otherwise you will probably need walls, gates and guards.
But what are the limits I am talking about here? They are insults: I regard insults as intolerable in any type of relationship. It is an even more intolerable cruelty in a love relationship.
In the aftermath of insults, you will see criticisms. There is no better way to spoil a relationship. I always say that if I am a victim of insults or criticism that is not constructive, I leave the relationship.
Obscene gestures, rude behaviors are also included in these limits. There are also people who visit me without warning. Things like someone who calls me at night for work, not allowing me to disconnect with my day work.
Friends who always seem to need me to listen to their problems and that pump all my energy in doing so.
I AM A DIVINE BEING. I AM ABUNDANT. I AM ETERNEL.
I FEEL WITHIN ME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR ALL THAT IS !
These are just some limits. To set effective limits, you must be able to know how you feel when you are in relationship.
Personally, there are coarse languages that I never use and I cannot stand that someone else use them in my presence.
Setting limits has nothing to do with my ego. The problem is that many of us are living without boundaries in our relationships, that we become so entangled, so symbiotic with our loving partner or other people that we have no idea about our feeling.
Love is not meant to be lived in the prison of each other but in the freedom of each other. But in my life experience, I have observed that when you respect and love yourself first and as it is said in Luke 6:31: Do to others as you would have them do to you, you find no need to set limits because you will attract into your life the people who are like you.
But as I often write in my blogs, you must first live inside of yourself what you want to live outside of yourself. All that you want to live with others lie within you. Or as said
Ghandi, you must be the change you want to see in the world.
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